And why they don’t solve conflicts
Would I write G&G differently now?
Yeah.
What would I change?
… everything.
Aha, and why?
Hmm. (And here I had to take a moment to think.) I would tell stories completely differently. G&G is overstuffed, and messy, and has too many characters.
I would pick just one character. Maybe Thea. And then focus on one specific topic. A 20+ Thea might struggle with physical intimacy. The story would be about just that.
It would be quiet. With as little text as possible. No inner monologues.
~~~
And then I realised that the problems in my stories wouldn’t be solved. There wouldn’t be a solution to Thea’s struggles. I would just observe and show. Nothing more. Picking small and big moments in her life. Showing how she sits there on the edge of the bed, shoulders pulled up. And the reader would just know. They would get it.
A withering flower that someone gave her. Being booked to take photos at a wedding, looking at the newdly wed couple through her camera. Coming home with no one there waiting for her. Lying in bed with a hand on her belly that has a lump inside when she tries to get close to someone.
As long as there is conflict, it keeps my curiosity up. When the conflict is solved, I lose interest. When I know that there is a solution in the end, there is no reason for me to draw that story at all.
If the book would end with her finding a way how to enjoy physical intimacy with a partner, or she figures out that she’s happy just by herself with no intimacy at all, then pff. Scrap that.
But I think I’d like the character(s) to find their peace in the end. Maybe their problem won’t be solved. But they can be at peace with it. Not everything needs to be solved and not everything can be solved.
That’s why there are no wholesome couples in my stories. No seemingly happy people. It sounds completely miserable, ha.
But in my head, it’s not. It’s what keeps me going at creating characters and looking for myself in them. Without my own struggles solved. But that’s okay, and that’s why I can’t solve other characters’ struggles either. When they are okay with the struggles, so can I be okay with my own struggles.
